Letting Go and Moving Forward

It never really occurred to me until recent years that I unconsciously lead of life of suppression. Who suppressed me? No one other than myself. Thinking back over the course of my life, I had a wonderful childhood and great parents whom I love deeply. I've had great friends and a loving boyfriend of three and half years. But I think back to school, going all the way back to my elementary years l when I first struggled with math. I saw my friends excel, while I tripped over the problems again and again. Throughout my school career all the way through high school, I saw myself fail continuously with math. I would ask for help and stay after school, but I just never could understand. My teachers would explain the same concept over and over again. I could tell they were getting just as frustrated as I was. I failed multiple math classes throughout my pre-college career. I would go home and cry into my pillow, loathing myself. Feeling like a failure. I ended up giving up.

Only this negativity and sadness unconsciously carried over into my everyday life, and I was quick to give up on so much more other than math. Other school subjects, my art, my musical abilities, anything else I wish I could commit myself to. I was scared of that failure, so I did not commit. I had trust issues with myself. I continued to see those close to me succeed on whatever path they were on, while I remained skittish. I developed anxiety. I would sit in class and feel the pain in my stomach and would struggle to write. My hands would get tense, shake, and cramp. I would have anxiety attacks late at night when I was by myself. I kept this mainly to myself. I felt empty. Unfortunately at my lowest point, I was about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life: what college to attend. I could not handle it. I did not know what I wanted to do... something art related. I looked at one school in particular, but I could not afford it. I decided on the same school my boyfriend was going to which was also the school with the best public art program in the state. I felt safe with him. Up until that moment he was the only thing that made sense in my life. I felt guilty for choosing the same school. I think he was a little standoffish about it as well, but he was supportive of my decision. When it came to choosing my major I did not even pick anything art related. Why? I was not confident with my ability to create art. So I went through two different majors during my freshman year.

During college the heaviness of my anxiety started to lift. I was having fun and meeting new people. I went vegetarian and joined a few clubs. But I still doubted myself frequently. I procrastinated and did just the amount of required work to get by. I liked my major of communications, but I was not passionate about it. I surrounded myself with art students and was always envious of the classes they took, the mediums they were experimenting with, and the projects they were working on. I was also struggling to get this blog started, create new art, officially go vegan, and take my health more seriously. I also partied more than I would probably like, but I did anyways. Other than my relationships, life became dull again. That emptiness returned. I was unsure about a lot, did not have a path for my future, and was fed up with myself. I began to develop anxiety again. I would cry frequently and would feel sick.

 That is when I started to reflect inward, and here I am now sharing my story. It took me years to get here, but I'm here. I am now stronger from my weaknesses. I am ready to move on. I am ready to alter those belittling attitudes and move forward and be the person I truly want to be. It will be hard process, but I have this understanding now and it will help me move forward in life. I have since changed my major to graphic design, something I am very content and excited about. It is a small change, but it is change. Just creating this post has been a step forward. No matter my struggles, I have always loved and had hope for myself. I look at myself as a interesting person who loves life, but it is time to create the life I have always longed to have. I am ready to make myself proud.

What I've Been Pinning Lately

I've been so obsessed lately with creating a new capsule closet. However, I have yet to actually purchase the pieces... See, while I love the idea of keeping my colors basic, there is a part of me that really wants to create a capsule closet that is both minimalistic yet bohemian. Possible? With plenty of pinning, I have found some inspiration and ideas for my future closet. 

I'm essentially channeling my inner Stevie Nick.

Alright, so merely inspiration here. Still coming up with a list of definite pieces. 

Here is the list thus far: 

1. Black Barrette 

2. Shawl/Kimono  

3. Vintage Lace Dress 

4. Witchy LBD 

5. An Immense Amount of Bohemian Jewelry 

Anyone else out there with a Stevie Nicks inspired capsule closet or suggestions? 

New School Year, New Goals

Classes officially start today. Pretty late in the season, huh? Third year at my university, where did the time go?

first day of school outfit

I always feel like I'm starting over at the beginning of the school year! New classes, new notebooks, I'm so eager to for what the next year will have in store. Usually people like to set new goals for themselves on the first of January. However, I always loved to set my goals for myself at the start of a new school year.

With that said, I put together a list of goals for myself that I hope to reach this year!

1. Study abroad in Ireland. I just put a crazy-tedious application together. I should find out within the next six weeks if I made it into the program. However there are only 20-some spot and nearly 300 applicants. Wish me luck...

2. Learn how to save and budget my money better.

3. Spend less time on Buzzfeed and Netflix, and more time reading, creating art and learning the guitar.

4. Make my official transition to a vegan lifestyle.

5. Be an avid writer for my school publications.

6. Participate in an Olympic distance triathlon.

7. Create a capsule wardrobe.

8. Score a rad internship.

8. Grow The February Collection. Consistent posts, better photography, fabulous content, design updates, and better marketing. 

I've got this, right? Of course I do!

Happy new [school] year, everyone!

Quick Review // Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide by Rosemary Gladstar

I don't know about you, but I've always been a little skeptical of drug store medicines. I mean what is in them anyways? Maybe I just never gave them the time of day, but I always figured the safest and most effective remedies come from the Earth. I mean, these herbs are here for a reason!

Sorry for the low quality

Something I've always wanted to get into was creating my own herbal medicine. Not too long ago, I finally I decided to look it. I scoured the internet and came across Rosemary Gladstar's Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide. I ordered it off Amazon for roughly $11. 

I started reading it as soon as I got it. I was hooked! This 217 page guide gives a great short-but-sweet summary of what it means to create your own medicine. Right of the bat, she discusses the creation of teas, syrups, oils, salves, tinctures, and herbal pills. Also everything you need to create your own in-home pharmacy! Pretty sweet, right? 

Next, she dives into 9 of the most familiar herbs: basil, cayenne, cinnamon, garlic, ginger, rosemary, sage, thyme, and turmeric. For each herb, she give a two-page summary. This includes, the best approach to growing it, how to use it medicinally, its nutritional value, and its safety factors. After that she will usually supply a recipe or two. After the 9 familiar herbs, she depicts how to use 24 other herbs. Aloe vera, lavender, elder, and nettle, just to name a few. 

Overall, this beginner guide definitely set me on the right path to becoming my own herbalist. It taught me everything I needed to know to get myself on my feet: what type of medicine I can make, how often I should take it and dosage, and how to use the herbs to make myself a healthier person. 

I'm very excited to make teas and tinctures! The guide discusses lunar and solar infused tea. Doesn't that just sound so mystical? I'm never excited for the cold season. However with the opportunity to make my own medicine, I am almost looking forward to it! 

Cheers to herbal medicine!  

DIY // Essential Oil Defuser

Before I moved, I really wanted to purchase a defuser for my essential oils. I went through endless articles trying to find which one was right for me. However, after picking up one new item for my new place, and then another, and then a couple more, there was no more room in my budget for that perfect essential oil defuser.

However with a little research, I figured out I could make my own. It is a quick, easy, and cost efficient. It cost me under $5 to complete, not including the essential oils, of course.

Here is what you'll need:
- Depending on your budget, you could get a type of carrier oil such as sweet almond, jojoba, etc. Carrier oils can get expensive though, if they are not in the budget, then baby oil would work as well!
- Skewers
- Rubbing Alcohol (over 90 proof, it helps the oil move through the skewers quicker)
- A vase with a narrow neck (I found some beautiful vases at Goodwill)

First take six skewers and chop the ends off; it opens them up to absorb the liquid faster. Next you're going to mix 1/4 cup of the oil of your choice with 1 tsp. of rubbing alcohol into the vase. Then add 15-20 drops of your favorite essential oil(s) to the mix. With a skewer, blend the mixture together. Lastly, add the skewers and let them absorb the blend!

At first the mix will smell mostly of the rubbing alcohol, but that will subside within the next day. On day two, flip the skewers over to let the liquid absorb into the other side.
That's it!

I made two, a eucalyptus mix for in my bathroom, and a lavender-lemon-rosemary mix for my bedroom.
Enjoy!

Review // Manic Panic: Purple Haze (on non-bleached hair)

UPDATE: This is a vintage post from my old blog. The original post date was in January of 2015. However, I still find the information was useful, so I thought I'd revive it on TFC.

So my friend Lydia and went to Sally's Beauty Supplies and bought the dye. We each grabbed two containers (around $9 ea.) each . I chose two of Purple Haze, and she chose Rockabilly Blue.

We went back to my house and the process began. We skipped bleaching our hair, so it would not become damaged (again) and went straight to smothering our hair in in approximately 1 1/2 containers of dye. We then jankily put a plastic bag over our heads and let it sit for 30 minutes.

This is how our process went:
(Photo cred: Mom)

Our final result:

Here is a picture of the back of Lydia's hair. This cool chick had an ombre, so it turned out even more awesome!

 But I've got to be honest, it was short lived. Here is my hair only one week later, after three washes. A greyish-purple with brown poking through every now and again.

 

Final Statement: It was fun while it lasted. I have been dying the underneath of my hair bright colors for the last six years and have ALWAYS used Manic Panic and have been pleased with long lasting color. However, my hair was bleached. This time it was not. I had read some reviews that Manic Panic worked well on brown hair, but I'd say otherwise. During every wash, my shampoo would turn bright purple. My hair left stains on my pillow, sweaters, and my Mom's vintage suede jacket! So sad. Lydia says her hair still blue on the bottom (where is was bleached), but is turning a greenish color on top. But there are some factors to take into consideration. Other than rinsing with cold water, I did not use a color protecting shampoo (other than the conditioner after the initial rinsing of the hair) and our hair dying process was a little... unprofessional to say the least. But even if we had done everything correct, I'm sure the color would not have lasted much longer. I think the bottom line is no matter what brand of dye you have, if you want a bright color and for it to stay long, bleaching is necessary. 

Maybe one day. 

But for now, I'm thinking adding a few dreads again;)

-Shannon

My Simple Cure to Keratosis Pilaris

I've had keratosis pilaris ever since I could remember. It has plagued my arms, legs, and bottom for years. After trying every expensive lotion and creme in the book, I finally made a trip to the dermatologist. That is when I learned it was a condition influenced by genetics, which made sense because both my sister and my dad had it as well. It was also in that same visitation that I learned there was no actual cure for keratosis pilaris. To me, that was a huge blow. While I was use to the condition and it was never painful, I was fairly fed up with it.

What is Keratosis Pilaris? 
Mayo Clinic defines it as, "a common skin condition that causes rough patches and small, acne-like bumps, usually on the arms, thighs, cheeks and buttocks. Keratosis pilaris bumps are usually white, sometimes red, and generally don't hurt or itch." More specifically, it is dead skin that has built up around the hair follicles. 

However over the past two years I have experimented immensely with my dry skin. Through the process of trial and error, I have come to a conclusion of what works best for fighting my keratosis pilaris!

Quick & Easy Fix
1/ Drink plenty of water
2/ Avoid as much dairy as possible 
3/ Take baths frequently. Relax and give you pores some time to open up. I like to put coconut oil in my baths to moisturize and soften my skin.
4/ Scrubadubdub. According to Wellnessbin, normal skin is advised to be scrubbed and exfoliated at least twice a week. However for my dry skin, I have found that exfoliating it with either a dry brush or scrub during each shower/bath (3-4 times a week) helps immensely.

The Miracle Worker: Tea Tree Oil & Jojoba Oil 
The most important thing I could have ever done with my skin was this simplistic combo.

1/ In an amber or dark colored bottle, mix a 1/4 cup of jojoba oil (or argan, coconut, etc. I'm sure baby oil would work as well!) and 15-20 drops of tea tree essential oil and mix well. I found my amber 2 fl. oz. at my local co-op. I've also seen them at Whole Foods, health food stores, and the internet, of course. Also be careful not to add too much tea tree oil, for too much can be toxic to the skin. 

2/ With a cotton ball, use the mixture on fresh-out-of-the-shower skin and wipe the surface that is dry and rough.

The cotton ball will sloosh off so much of the dead skin and unclog the pores, while the oils will both moisturize and disinfect the skin. I do this after every shower. Feel free to skip some days if you skin is too dry. Then just moisturize with an natural oil. 

Hope some of these tips help you with your keratosis pilaris!

Any methods of keeping you keratosis pilaris away? Comment below!

Playlist // August 15'

This past month has been crazy! I've officially moved into my new place. It was a long process but I'm in! I'm looking forward to posting about it once I'm done revamping my new studio space. I've switched from one job to another. Not to mention I'm applying for two more... I'm ready to give my blog plenty of attention! 

However in the midst of the craziness, I have not failed to listen to some new music, and become totally obsessed with some of these jams! 

In no particular order... 

1. Crystal // Fleetwood Mac 

2. The Grounds Walk, in Time With a Box // Modest Mouse 

3.'Cause I'm a Man // Tame Impala 

4. Winters Kiss // Blossoms 

5. Make You Better // The Decemberists 

6. California Nights // Best Coast 

7. Young // Vallis Alps 

8. Sunset Lover // Petit Biscut 

9. It's All For You // We Are All Astronauts 

10. Can't Deny My Love // Brandon Flowers 

What have you been listening to? 

Enjoy! 

Shannon

Vegan | Protein Quinoa Pancakes

There is no doubt that breakfast foods are my #1 one. Then after going vegan, quinoa quickly came to be my favorite favorite grain. It is very filling and high in both carbs and protein. Not to mention incredibly versatile in cooking. So, naturally, to combine breakfast and quinoa was something I had to try immediately. So after scouring the internet I came across a recipe by upsidedownia, and they were delicious!

However, but as a vegan who is highly active, I could never use enough protein. So I put a little twist on the recipe and opted out for the ultimate protein-pancake experience!

(Disclaimer: as a result of the protein powder combining with the soymilk, they are a little moist.)

Ingredient list:
// 1 cup of quinoa
// 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour
// 1 teaspoon baking powder
// a dash of nutmeg and cinnamon (for flavor, optional)
// 1 Tablespoon of brown sugar
// 1 teaspoon of oil (I used grapeseed oil)
// 3/4 cup of organic soymilk (I use Silk)
// 1 scoop of the plant-based protein powder of your choice.

Makes about 3 large pancakes with a total of 28 grams of protein

First combine flour, baking powder, and protein powder-- mix it thoroughly. Then add sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, quinoa and mix together evenly. Then add in the oil of your choice, and again, mix evenly.

Then add in the soy milk accordingly to achieve proper pancake batter thickness!

 The originally recipe calls for a cast iron pan, so I dug ours out! I used a little grapeseed oil to grease the pan (because our is not non-stick quite yet.) Pouring it out of the bowl, I set the burner on a lower heat. I let them cook for a minute or so and then flip them. I gave the pancakes a couple of jabs with the spatula to release air.

 Then add whatever topping of your please: maple syrup, fruit, powdered sugar, etc.

Then BAM, vegan quinoa protein pancakes!